Finding Your Voice: How to Advocate for Yourself During Labor (With a Doula by Your Side)

Labor and delivery can be one of the most vulnerable yet powerful times in your life. You're bringing a new life into the world—and while there's so much beauty in that, there can also be moments of uncertainty, pressure, or feeling unheard in the birth space. That’s where self-advocacy becomes incredibly important.

And while you might have heard that doulas are your voice in the delivery room, we want to clear that up: Doulas don’t speak for you—we help you find and use your own voice.

Why Self-Advocacy Matters in Labor

Every birth is different. You may face decisions about interventions, monitoring, movement, or pain relief. In these moments, you deserve to be part of the conversation, not a silent observer.

Self-advocacy means:

Asking questions when something doesn’t feel right

Requesting time to think before agreeing to a procedure

Speaking up about your needs, preferences, and boundaries

Saying “yes” or “no” with confidence

This isn’t about being confrontational—it’s about making informed choices and feeling in control of your body and your birth.

What Your Doula Really Does

A doula is your birth companion, not your spokesperson.

Here’s what we do:

Help you prepare ahead of time by learning your birth preferences

Offer evidence-based info so you understand your options

Remind you of your rights and choices during labor

Encourage you to ask questions like “What are the benefits, risks, and alternatives?”

Support your emotional and physical comfort every step of the way

What we don’t do is speak over you, replace your voice, or argue with your medical team. Why? Because you are the one in charge. We're simply here to support you in standing strong.

You Deserve to Be Heard

Sometimes in medical settings, people—especially women, people of color, and LGBTQ+ birthing folks—can feel overlooked or dismissed. It’s heartbreaking, but real. That’s why it's even more vital to walk into labor knowing:

You can ask for clarification.

You can request a pause.

You can say no.

You can change your mind.

And if you're not sure how to say it in the moment, your doula can gently remind you of your wishes or suggest helpful phrases like:

“Can we have a moment alone to decide?”

“Is there a medical reason we can’t wait?”

“We’d like to try another position first.”

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Advocating for yourself doesn't mean you have to carry the weight of birth by yourself. With the right support, your partner, your doula, your care provider; you can build a team that listens and respects you.

You don’t need to be loud to be powerful. You just need to be heard.

Labor isn't just about bringing your baby earthside, it's about birthing your voice too. And your voice? It matters. Every time, in every room, especially the one where you're bringing life into the world.

Let your doula hold space for your power. Because you already have everything you need inside you.