Preparing for the Unexpected: How to Handle Birth Plan Changes Like a Pro
Let’s be honest: birth rarely goes exactly how we picture it. You can plan the music, the lighting, who’s in the room, and even how you want to breathe — but babies? They often have their own timeline and agenda. And that’s okay.
As a doula, I always say: having a birth plan is important, but being flexible is essential. Think of your birth plan as a roadmap, not a rigid script. Here’s how you can prepare for the unexpected and still feel empowered, supported, and in control.
1. Know Your “Why”
Before getting too caught up in the how, focus on your why. Do you want a natural birth because you’re aiming for less intervention? Are you choosing a cesarean for medical reasons? Knowing your reasons helps you make informed decisions if your original plan needs adjusting.
2. Get Comfortable with the “What Ifs”
Talk through possible changes with your provider or doula.
What if labor stalls?
What if you want pain relief after all?
What if a C-section becomes necessary?
You’re not “jinxing” anything by discussing these scenarios — you’re actually building confidence and reducing fear.
3. Make a Plan B (and C)
Think about it like packing for a trip — sure, you plan for sunny weather, but you toss in a hoodie just in case. Your birth plan can include:
Pain management options (natural AND medicated)
Who speaks for you if you're too tired or focused
How you want baby cared for after birth, no matter how they arrive
4. Communicate with Your Team
Whether it’s your partner, doula, doctor, or nurse — everyone needs to be on the same page. Share your preferences but also let them know you’re open to changes if it’s in your or baby’s best interest.
Remember, this is your birth, and your voice matters.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
If your birth ends up looking completely different than what you imagined, that doesn’t mean you “failed.” Birth is powerful, unpredictable, and sometimes messy — but it’s still yours. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions. Joy, grief, pride, confusion — it’s all valid.
6. Focus on the Big Picture
At the end of the day, the goal is a healthy baby, a healthy parent, and a supported experience. That doesn’t mean everything has to be perfect. It means you were informed, respected, and loved through the process.
Preparing for birth is more than just checking boxes — it’s about growing your confidence, finding your voice, and learning to pivot with grace. You’ve got this. And even if things don’t go according to plan, you’ll still have a beautiful story to tell.
Need support creating a flexible birth plan or navigating the unknowns of labor? I’m here to help. You don’t have to do this alone.
Overcoming the Fear of Birth: Empowering Yourself Through Education and Preparation
Fear of childbirth is a common experience—especially for first-time parents. From worrying about the unknown to hearing negative birth stories, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But here’s the good news: fear can be transformed into confidence. And one of the most powerful tools for that transformation is education and preparation.
Understanding the Root of Birth Fear
Fear often stems from the unknown. When we don’t understand what to expect, our minds fill in the gaps—often with worst-case scenarios. Fear can also come from:
Hearing traumatic birth stories from others
Past negative medical experiences
Feeling a lack of control or support
Worry about pain, complications, or not being "strong enough"
When these fears go unaddressed, they can lead to increased anxiety, stalled labor, or even avoidance of vaginal birth altogether. That’s why addressing and managing fear is a vital part of birth preparation.
How Education Can Ease Fear
1. Knowledge is Power Learning about the birth process helps demystify it. Childbirth education classes teach you what to expect during each stage of labor, common medical interventions, and natural coping techniques. When you know what’s happening and why, you’re less likely to panic and more likely to feel in control.
2. Informed Decision-Making Understanding your options helps you make choices that align with your values and comfort level. Whether it’s deciding on a birth plan, choosing a provider, or knowing when to ask questions, knowledge allows you to advocate for yourself.
3. Learning to Cope with Pain and Stress Many people fear the pain of labor. But preparation introduces techniques like breathing exercises, visualization, positioning, massage, and hydrotherapy that can help you cope naturally—or know when and how to ask for medical support like an epidural.
The Role of Preparation
1. Take a Childbirth Class Look for classes that align with your birth goals—natural, medicated, hospital, home birth, or anything in between. A quality class should include labor stages, coping skills, medical interventions, postpartum care, and partner support.
2. Create a Birth PlanA birth plan helps you communicate your preferences with your provider and birth team. While birth doesn’t always go as planned, having one ensures you’ve thought through your options and feel prepared.
3. Build a Support Team Surround yourself with people who support your birth vision. This might include your partner, a doula, midwife, OB, or close family members. Emotional and physical support during labor can reduce fear and improve outcomes.
4. Practice Relaxation Techniques Daily meditation, mindfulness, affirmations, and prenatal yoga can train your body and mind to stay calm under pressure—skills that come in handy during labor.
5. Prepare Emotionally and Mentally Talk through your fears with a trusted provider, therapist, or support group. Journaling or using fear-release exercises can also help you let go of anxiety and feel more empowered.
Birth doesn’t have to be something you fear. With the right education and preparation, it can be a powerful, transformative experience. By learning, planning, and surrounding yourself with support, you replace fear with confidence—and step into birth with strength and clarity.
5 Ways Partners Can Prepare for Labor and Delivery
Labor and delivery can be one of the most intense and transformative experiences a couple will go through together. While much of the focus is understandably on the birthing person, partners play a critical role before, during, and after birth. Here are five powerful ways partners can prepare for labor and delivery to provide meaningful support and be truly present in the moment.
1. Get Educated Together
One of the best ways to prepare is to take a childbirth education class together. These classes provide an understanding of the stages of labor, pain management options, and medical interventions. Learning about the birthing process helps reduce anxiety and empowers both of you with knowledge. As a partner, knowing what’s happening allows you to offer reassurance and advocate effectively when needed.
Tip: Look for classes that also focus on partner roles, comfort techniques, and postpartum care.
2. Create a Birth Plan as a Team
A birth plan isn’t just for the birthing person—it’s a communication tool for the whole team. Discuss preferences for the birth setting, pain relief, interventions, and immediate postpartum care. Make sure both of you are on the same page so the partner can help communicate your wishes during labor when decisions may need to be made quickly.
Tip: Keep it flexible—birth can be unpredictable. Think of the birth plan as a guide, not a script.
3. Practice Comfort Measures
Learn and practice hands-on support techniques like massage, counter-pressure, breathing cues, and position changes. These skills can make a big difference during labor, especially if a partner knows how and when to use them.
Tip: Ask your doula or childbirth educator to show you labor positions and touch techniques that can help ease pain.
4. Prepare Emotionally and Mentally
Labor can bring up strong emotions for both of you. Partners may feel helpless, anxious, or overwhelmed watching a loved one in pain. Talk through expectations, fears, and communication styles ahead of time. Build a toolkit of calming techniques like grounding exercises, mantras, or even playlists that help both of you stay centered.
Tip: Remind yourself that your calm energy can be one of the greatest gifts you bring to the room.
5. Pack Smart and Plan Ahead
Know what’s in the hospital or birth center bag—snacks, comfort items, phone chargers, ID, and copies of your birth plan. Also plan for logistics: transportation, parking, child or pet care if needed, and knowing the route to your chosen facility. Having these details sorted helps reduce stress when labor starts.
Tip: Include items for the partner, too—comfortable clothes, toiletries, and something to keep you nourished and rested.
Labor is a team effort. When partners are prepared, it creates a supportive, grounded environment that allows the birthing person to feel safe, heard, and empowered. Preparation doesn’t mean perfection—it means showing up, being present, and doing your best with love and intention.
Want personalized guidance for your birth journey? Reach out for doula support, childbirth classes, or partner coaching to feel fully equipped for the big day.
Not Ties As In Shoes
Lip ties, tongue ties, and cheek ties are all types of oral tethered tissues (also called tethered oral tissues or TOTs). These occur when the frenulum (the small fold of tissue that anchors parts of the mouth) is too tight, short, or thick, restricting movement. This can impact feeding, speech, and oral development.
Symptoms of Oral Ties in Infants
1. Tongue Tie (Ankyloglossia):
Difficulty latching or staying latched during breastfeeding
Clicking sound while nursing
Gassy or fussy behavior during feeds
Poor weight gain or slow growth
Tongue appears heart-shaped when extended or has limited movement
Difficulty lifting or moving tongue side to side
Reflux symptoms or excessive spit-up
2. Lip Tie:
Shallow latch or loss of suction while feeding
Painful nursing for the parent (nipple damage, soreness)
Baby has difficulty flanging upper lip outward
Milk dribbling from mouth during feeds
Gaps between upper front teeth (in older infants/children)
Blisters on lips from friction
3. Cheek Tie (Buccal Tie):
Less commonly diagnosed, but may cause:
Difficulty creating suction
Pain for the nursing parent
Poor latch that slips frequently
Prolonged or inefficient feedings
Gagging or choking during feeding
How to Feed or Nurse a Baby with Oral Ties
Breastfeeding Tips:
Positioning is key: Try laid-back or upright positions to support better latch and gravity.
Deep latch: Encourage a deep latch by supporting baby’s shoulders and tilting the head slightly back.
Lip flip: Gently flip the upper lip out to help improve suction.
Breast compressions: Can help milk flow more easily, reducing frustration for baby.
Work with a lactation consultant (IBCLC): Especially one trained in oral ties.
Bottle Feeding Tips:
Use paced bottle feeding to mimic breastfeeding flow.
Choose a slow-flow nipple to help baby control milk intake.
Ensure baby’s chin is tilted down and mouth is wide open before inserting the bottle.
Burp often to manage gas or discomfort.
Additional Support
Craniosacral therapy or bodywork: May help with muscle tension related to oral ties.
Speech or feeding therapy: If older infants or children are struggling with solids or speech.
Frenectomy/frenotomy: A minor procedure to release the tight frenulum, typically done by a pediatric dentist, ENT, or specialist.