Finding Your Voice: How to Advocate for Yourself During Labor (With a Doula by Your Side)

Labor and delivery can be one of the most vulnerable yet powerful times in your life. You're bringing a new life into the world—and while there's so much beauty in that, there can also be moments of uncertainty, pressure, or feeling unheard in the birth space. That’s where self-advocacy becomes incredibly important.

And while you might have heard that doulas are your voice in the delivery room, we want to clear that up: Doulas don’t speak for you—we help you find and use your own voice.

Why Self-Advocacy Matters in Labor

Every birth is different. You may face decisions about interventions, monitoring, movement, or pain relief. In these moments, you deserve to be part of the conversation, not a silent observer.

Self-advocacy means:

Asking questions when something doesn’t feel right

Requesting time to think before agreeing to a procedure

Speaking up about your needs, preferences, and boundaries

Saying “yes” or “no” with confidence

This isn’t about being confrontational—it’s about making informed choices and feeling in control of your body and your birth.

What Your Doula Really Does

A doula is your birth companion, not your spokesperson.

Here’s what we do:

Help you prepare ahead of time by learning your birth preferences

Offer evidence-based info so you understand your options

Remind you of your rights and choices during labor

Encourage you to ask questions like “What are the benefits, risks, and alternatives?”

Support your emotional and physical comfort every step of the way

What we don’t do is speak over you, replace your voice, or argue with your medical team. Why? Because you are the one in charge. We're simply here to support you in standing strong.

You Deserve to Be Heard

Sometimes in medical settings, people—especially women, people of color, and LGBTQ+ birthing folks—can feel overlooked or dismissed. It’s heartbreaking, but real. That’s why it's even more vital to walk into labor knowing:

You can ask for clarification.

You can request a pause.

You can say no.

You can change your mind.

And if you're not sure how to say it in the moment, your doula can gently remind you of your wishes or suggest helpful phrases like:

“Can we have a moment alone to decide?”

“Is there a medical reason we can’t wait?”

“We’d like to try another position first.”

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Advocating for yourself doesn't mean you have to carry the weight of birth by yourself. With the right support, your partner, your doula, your care provider; you can build a team that listens and respects you.

You don’t need to be loud to be powerful. You just need to be heard.

Labor isn't just about bringing your baby earthside, it's about birthing your voice too. And your voice? It matters. Every time, in every room, especially the one where you're bringing life into the world.

Let your doula hold space for your power. Because you already have everything you need inside you.

Epidurals, Interventions, and Doula Support: Finding Your Balance

Childbirth is a deeply personal journey. Whether you're planning a medicated birth, aiming for a low-intervention experience, or staying open to options, the key is to feel informed, empowered, and supported every step of the way. At the heart of this balance is understanding how pain relief like epidurals, medical interventions, and doula support can work together to help you feel safe and confident in your birth experience.

What Is an Epidural and When Is It Used?

An epidural is one of the most common forms of pain relief during labor, used by more than 60% of birthing people in U.S. hospitals, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). An anesthesiologist administers it into the lower back, where it blocks pain in the lower half of the body without completely numbing you.

Benefits of an Epidural:

• Effective pain relief

• Allows rest during long labors

• May help with focus and relaxation

• Considerations:

• May reduce mobility

• Sometimes slows down labor

• Requires continuous monitoring and IV fluids

• Can cause a drop in blood pressure (Mayo Clinic)

Knowing when and why you might choose an epidural is essential. For some, it’s part of the plan. For others, it becomes helpful after labor becomes more intense than expected.

Understanding Medical Interventions

Medical interventions include anything from labor induction (Pitocin), fetal monitoring, assisted delivery (vacuum or forceps), to cesarean birth. While sometimes medically necessary, especially in emergencies, interventions are more common in U.S. hospital births than many people realize.

According to ACOG, interventions can be life-saving and should be available when needed. However, the World Health Organization (WHO) emphasizes avoiding unnecessary interventions that may lead to a "cascade of interventions"—a series of additional procedures that follow one medical action.

Common Interventions:

• Induction: Used when baby or parent’s health is at risk

• Artificial rupture of membranes: Breaking the water to speed up labor

• Continuous electronic fetal monitoring: Tracks baby’s heartbeat and contractions

• Cesarean section (C-section): Surgery to deliver baby through the abdomen

It's important to understand the risks, benefits, and alternatives of each intervention. This is where education and advocacy come in.

The Role of a Doula in Balancing It All

A doula is a trained non-medical professional who supports birthing people emotionally, physically, and educationally before, during, and after labor. Unlike doctors or nurses, a doula doesn’t provide clinical care—but their presence is strongly linked with better birth outcomes.

According to Cochrane Reviews and March of Dimes, people supported by doulas are:

• Less likely to use pain medication or request epidurals early

• More likely to have spontaneous vaginal births

• Less likely to experience negative feelings about childbirth

• Less likely to undergo cesarean deliveries

• Whether you choose an epidural or not, a doula:

• Provides continuous support that hospital staff often can’t due to shift changes

• Helps you advocate for your birth preferences

• Offers comfort measures like massage, breathing guidance, and position changes

• Supports your partner and explains medical terms in real-time

Finding Your Balance

Birth is not one-size-fits-all. You may walk into labor certain you want an epidural, or you may hope to go unmedicated and change your mind later—and that’s OK. A balanced birth plan:

• Centers your values and goals

• Is flexible and allows for informed decision-making

• Includes a support team that honors your choices

Tips for a Balanced Birth Experience:

1. Take a childbirth education class—understanding your options reduces fear.

2. Discuss pain relief options with your provider ahead of time.

3. Create a birth plan that includes your preferences and your flexibility.

4. Hire a doula who aligns with your values and birth goals.

5. Communicate openly with your birth team before and during labor.

Whether you’re planning a birth with minimal intervention or open to using tools like an epidural, having a doula by your side can make a powerful difference. With knowledge, preparation, and continuous support, you can navigate your birth experience with confidence and grace—no matter how your story unfolds.

Sources:

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)

World Health Organization (WHO)

Mayo Clinic

March of Dimes

Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews

Cleveland Clinic

CDC National Vital Statistics Report

Preparing for the Unexpected: How to Handle Birth Plan Changes Like a Pro

Let’s be honest: birth rarely goes exactly how we picture it. You can plan the music, the lighting, who’s in the room, and even how you want to breathe — but babies? They often have their own timeline and agenda. And that’s okay.

As a doula, I always say: having a birth plan is important, but being flexible is essential. Think of your birth plan as a roadmap, not a rigid script. Here’s how you can prepare for the unexpected and still feel empowered, supported, and in control.

1. Know Your “Why”

Before getting too caught up in the how, focus on your why. Do you want a natural birth because you’re aiming for less intervention? Are you choosing a cesarean for medical reasons? Knowing your reasons helps you make informed decisions if your original plan needs adjusting.

2. Get Comfortable with the “What Ifs”

Talk through possible changes with your provider or doula.

What if labor stalls?

What if you want pain relief after all?

What if a C-section becomes necessary?

You’re not “jinxing” anything by discussing these scenarios — you’re actually building confidence and reducing fear.

3. Make a Plan B (and C)

Think about it like packing for a trip — sure, you plan for sunny weather, but you toss in a hoodie just in case. Your birth plan can include:

• Pain management options (natural AND medicated)

• Who speaks for you if you're too tired or focused

• How you want baby cared for after birth, no matter how they arrive

4. Communicate with Your Team

Whether it’s your partner, doula, doctor, or nurse — everyone needs to be on the same page. Share your preferences but also let them know you’re open to changes if it’s in your or baby’s best interest.

Remember, this is your birth, and your voice matters.

5. Be Kind to Yourself

If your birth ends up looking completely different than what you imagined, that doesn’t mean you “failed.” Birth is powerful, unpredictable, and sometimes messy — but it’s still yours. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions. Joy, grief, pride, confusion — it’s all valid.

6. Focus on the Big Picture

At the end of the day, the goal is a healthy baby, a healthy parent, and a supported experience. That doesn’t mean everything has to be perfect. It means you were informed, respected, and loved through the process.

Preparing for birth is more than just checking boxes — it’s about growing your confidence, finding your voice, and learning to pivot with grace. You’ve got this. And even if things don’t go according to plan, you’ll still have a beautiful story to tell.

Need support creating a flexible birth plan or navigating the unknowns of labor? I’m here to help. You don’t have to do this alone.

Overcoming the Fear of Birth: Empowering Yourself Through Education and Preparation

Fear of childbirth is a common experience—especially for first-time parents. From worrying about the unknown to hearing negative birth stories, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But here’s the good news: fear can be transformed into confidence. And one of the most powerful tools for that transformation is education and preparation.

Understanding the Root of Birth Fear

Fear often stems from the unknown. When we don’t understand what to expect, our minds fill in the gaps—often with worst-case scenarios. Fear can also come from:

• Hearing traumatic birth stories from others

• Past negative medical experiences

• Feeling a lack of control or support

• Worry about pain, complications, or not being "strong enough"

When these fears go unaddressed, they can lead to increased anxiety, stalled labor, or even avoidance of vaginal birth altogether. That’s why addressing and managing fear is a vital part of birth preparation.

How Education Can Ease Fear

1. Knowledge is Power Learning about the birth process helps demystify it. Childbirth education classes teach you what to expect during each stage of labor, common medical interventions, and natural coping techniques. When you know what’s happening and why, you’re less likely to panic and more likely to feel in control.

2. Informed Decision-Making Understanding your options helps you make choices that align with your values and comfort level. Whether it’s deciding on a birth plan, choosing a provider, or knowing when to ask questions, knowledge allows you to advocate for yourself.

3. Learning to Cope with Pain and Stress Many people fear the pain of labor. But preparation introduces techniques like breathing exercises, visualization, positioning, massage, and hydrotherapy that can help you cope naturally—or know when and how to ask for medical support like an epidural.

The Role of Preparation

1. Take a Childbirth Class Look for classes that align with your birth goals—natural, medicated, hospital, home birth, or anything in between. A quality class should include labor stages, coping skills, medical interventions, postpartum care, and partner support.

2. Create a Birth PlanA birth plan helps you communicate your preferences with your provider and birth team. While birth doesn’t always go as planned, having one ensures you’ve thought through your options and feel prepared.

3. Build a Support Team Surround yourself with people who support your birth vision. This might include your partner, a doula, midwife, OB, or close family members. Emotional and physical support during labor can reduce fear and improve outcomes.

4. Practice Relaxation Techniques Daily meditation, mindfulness, affirmations, and prenatal yoga can train your body and mind to stay calm under pressure—skills that come in handy during labor.

5. Prepare Emotionally and Mentally Talk through your fears with a trusted provider, therapist, or support group. Journaling or using fear-release exercises can also help you let go of anxiety and feel more empowered.

Birth doesn’t have to be something you fear. With the right education and preparation, it can be a powerful, transformative experience. By learning, planning, and surrounding yourself with support, you replace fear with confidence—and step into birth with strength and clarity.