The Importance of Involving the Whole Family in Postpartum Care

When a new baby arrives, most of the focus naturally goes to the birthing person and the newborn. But postpartum is not just about healing and adjusting for one person—it’s about the entire family finding their new rhythm. As a doula, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it is when the whole family is involved in postpartum care.

1. Healing Takes a Village

Postpartum recovery isn’t just physical; it’s emotional and mental too. When the family steps in—whether that’s a partner, grandparents, siblings, or close friends—the birthing person can truly rest, heal, and bond with the baby. Even small tasks like folding laundry, preparing a meal, or holding the baby so mom can shower make a big difference.

2. Strengthening Bonds

Involving family creates deeper connections. A partner who learns to soothe the baby or a sibling who sings lullabies feels proud of their role. These little moments help the whole family grow together, not apart, during the adjustment period.

3. Reducing Stress & Overwhelm

New parents often feel like they need to “do it all.” But when the family shares responsibilities, the weight lightens. Instead of burning out, parents can focus on enjoying their baby. Family involvement prevents isolation and reassures the birthing person that they are not alone.

4. Teaching Healthy Boundaries & Support

Postpartum is also the perfect time to model healthy boundaries. Families learn that support doesn’t mean taking over, but showing up in meaningful ways that truly help. It teaches children, partners, and extended family that nurturing is a shared responsibility.

5. Creating Long-Term Stability

Postpartum isn’t just the first six weeks—it sets the foundation for family life moving forward. When the family is engaged from the beginning, it builds confidence, trust, and teamwork that carry on for years to come.

🌸 My take as a doula: Postpartum care is family care. When everyone plays a part, healing feels lighter, love feels stronger, and the baby grows up surrounded by a circle of support.

Partners Matter in Childbirth Education (and Why I Love Having Them in Class)

When I tell people I teach childbirth education, I often hear:

“Oh, so you teach moms what to expect?”

Yes… but also no. Because here’s the thing, birth is a team event, and partners are a huge part of the story.

Whether your partner is a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, sister, or parent—whoever you choose to have by your side—their role is more than just “holding your hand” in the delivery room. The right kind of support can literally change how you experience labor, both emotionally and physically.

The Research Has Been Clear for Decades

Studies have consistently shown that when birthing people have continuous, informed support from a partner, they tend to have:

• Shorter labors

• Less need for pain medication

• Lower rates of cesarean birth

• Better emotional outcomes postpartum

(That’s not just my opinion—that’s from credible sources like the Cochrane Database, which reviewed dozens of trials and thousands of births.)

What Partners Learn in Class Isn’t Just “Fluff”

Some partners worry that childbirth classes will be all about breathing patterns or “things only the pregnant person needs to know.” But I teach them to:

• Recognize labor signs early so they know when to call the provider or head to the birth location.

• Offer comfort measures; things like counter pressure, position changes, and using the environment (lights, music, movement) to make labor more manageable.

• Advocate effectively by asking the right questions and understanding the birth plan, so they can help navigate hospital routines or unexpected changes.

• Stay calm under pressure because labor can be intense, and your partner’s energy affects yours.

Why It Matters for Your Relationship

Childbirth isn’t just the birth of a baby, it’s the birth of a family. When partners are prepared, they’re not just “watching” the process; they’re participating in it.

I’ve seen it so many times:

• The look of pride when a partner helps get through a tough contraction.

• The quiet smile when they remember to offer water at just the right moment.

• The sense of accomplishment when they realize they were part of the story, not just a spectator.

In My Classes, Partners Aren’t “Extras”

I make it a point to include partners in everything we do. We practice comfort measures together. We talk about how they can help emotionally and physically. We even go over how to take care of themselves during labor so they can be steady for you.

Because when partners are engaged and informed, the whole birth experience shifts—it becomes something you did together.

If you’re expecting and you have a partner, bring them to class. Even if they think they “don’t need it.” Even if they’re nervous. Especially if they’re nervous. The skills and confidence they’ll gain can be the difference between feeling helpless and feeling like the rock you can lean on.

After all, birth isn’t just about getting through it—it’s about how you both remember it.

Connection Between Mindset and a Positive Birth Experience

Empowering Your Birth From the Inside Out

When it comes to giving birth, many people focus on preparing their bodies—but often overlook the incredible power of the mind. Research and lived experience show that your mindset can deeply influence your birth journey, shaping not only how you perceive labor but also how you recover and reflect on the experience afterward.

🧠 What Is Mindset in Birth?

Your mindset refers to the thoughts, beliefs, and expectations you carry about labor, birth, and your body’s ability to bring life into the world. These internal narratives can either empower you or intensify fear and tension.

A positive mindset doesn’t mean pretending labor won’t be intense. Instead, it’s about:

• Trusting your body and its wisdom

• Believing that you have choices

• Feeling safe and supported

• Releasing fear and embracing the unknown

💡 Why Mindset Matters in Labor

1. The Mind-Body Connection Is Real

When you’re anxious or fearful, your body releases adrenaline, which can slow labor and increase discomfort. On the flip side, feeling calm and confident boosts oxytocin—your body’s natural "love hormone" that supports contractions and bonding.

2. Your Thoughts Shape Your Experience

Labor is unpredictable, but how you respond to it makes a world of difference. If you go in with the belief that “I can do hard things” or “Each contraction brings me closer to my baby,” you shift from resistance to resilience.

3. Fear-Tension-Pain Cycle

A fearful mindset creates tension in the body, which leads to more pain. Breaking this cycle with calming tools—like breathwork, affirmations, and visualization—can make labor feel more manageable and even empowering.

🧘🏾‍♀️ How to Cultivate a Positive Birth Mindset

Education = Confidence

Learn about the stages of labor, pain management options, and your rights in the birth space. Knowledge reduces fear.

Affirmations

Use phrases like “My body knows how to birth,” or “I trust the process of labor.” Repeat them daily to rewire your beliefs.

Visualization

Picture your ideal birth. See yourself breathing through contractions, supported, grounded, and powerful.

Support System

Surround yourself with people who believe in your strength—partners, doulas, providers, and friends who empower, not pressure.

Mindfulness and Breathwork

Practicing deep breathing and present-moment awareness during pregnancy trains your brain and body to stay calm under pressure.

💬 Real Talk: Mindset Doesn't Guarantee a “Perfect” Birth

Having a positive mindset doesn’t mean everything will go “as planned.” But it does mean:

• You’re more likely to feel in control, even in unexpected situations.

• You’ll be better able to advocate for yourself or accept changes without fear.

• You’re less likely to feel traumatized if things don’t go perfectly—because you entered birth empowered, not helpless.

In all,

Your mindset is one of the most powerful tools you can bring to your birth. It sets the tone for your experience, your recovery, and even your bond with your baby. Prepare your body—but prepare your mind too. You are strong, capable, and worthy of a birth experience that honors your power.

5 Ways Partners Can Prepare for Labor and Delivery: A Doula’s Guide

Labor and birth are powerful experiences—not just for the birthing person, but also for the partner. As a doula, I’ve seen firsthand how a prepared and present partner can completely change the tone of the birth space. When a partner is calm, confident, and informed, they help create a safer, more supportive, and empowered environment.

Here are five meaningful ways partners can prepare for labor and delivery, based on evidence-based sources like DONA International, Lamaze, and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)—and what I’ve seen work in real births.

1. Take a Quality Childbirth Education Class Together

Understanding what to expect during labor and delivery reduces fear and builds confidence. A reputable childbirth education class—like Lamaze or a doula-led class—teaches you both the stages of labor, pain management options, and hands-on techniques for comfort and support.

💡 Why it matters: Partners who are informed can better advocate, communicate, and offer the right kind of support when it’s needed most.

2. Practice Comfort Measures Before Labor Begins

Partners can learn how to give counter-pressure, offer massages, help with breathing patterns, and set up the birth space (music, lighting, essential oils, etc.). Practicing these before labor begins ensures you're not scrambling in the moment.

💡 Doula tip: Create a birth comfort toolkit at home—include a tennis ball, massage oil, cooling cloth, affirmation cards, and snacks for you both.

3. Understand the Birth Plan and Be Ready to Flex

Discuss the birth preferences together and understand the "why" behind them. It’s helpful if the partner knows what interventions are okay, which ones to ask questions about, and how to support calm decision-making if the plan needs to change.

💡 From DONA International: A supportive partner helps uphold the birthing person’s voice and preferences—not take over decision-making.

4. Learn How to Be Emotionally Present, Not Just Physically There

Labor is more than a physical process—it's emotional, spiritual, and vulnerable. Sometimes the most powerful thing a partner can do is simply hold space: offer eye contact, reassurance, and a calm presence.

💡 ACOG highlights that emotional support during labor has been linked to shorter labors, reduced need for interventions, and more positive birth experiences.

5. Build a Strong Birth Team (Hint: Hire a Doula!)

Having a doula allows the partner to be fully present without pressure to know everything. Doulas don’t replace partners—they enhance their role by offering guidance, reminders, and hands-on backup.

💡 Partners often say: “I was so glad we had a doula. I could focus on being there emotionally, and she handled everything else I wasn’t sure about.”

Being an amazing birth partner doesn’t require perfection—it takes presence, preparation, and a willingness to learn and grow together. You don’t have to do it all, but by taking these five steps, you’ll help create a safe, sacred space for labor, birth, and the incredible journey into parenthood.

If you’d like help preparing for this journey, I’d love to guide you. As your doula, I support not only the birthing person but also you—the partner—because birth is a team experience.